Easy Difficulty

As life grows progressively more real, certain realities about living abroad become shockingly apparent. Things that were once easy become difficult, and what, at first, seemed in possible, is simple.

What was once difficult, I now approach with ease...

• Speaking Turkish is now possible. I speak, people understand. Though I constantly stumble over verb conjugation, I can say what I need to say. Thank god! It only took 5 months. 
• Picking up on certain cultural cues- when to say what when, what topics to avoid
• Finding certain ingredients to cook with
• there is no vanilla, no basil, no peanut butter, no sushi, no pork (no bacon people!)
• The lack of American style toilets was once a concern. Whereas I was once baffled by the hole in the ground, it now seems normal. I am always pleasantly shocked to see a western-style bathroom.
• Figuring out the city wide bus systems- I can hop on and off the buses and finally have figured out where the imaginary bus stops are. (That was a tougher one!)

What was once easy, becomes very difficult....

• At first, everyone helps you. You are a guest in your host country and everyone is kind and wants to help with the little things to help you settle in. But, now, you are a resident. You aren't a guest and you have to figure it out yourself. Difficult situations like calling the bus company and telling them to, for gods sakes, stop giving out your number are a bit more challenging
• Teaching. The more you get to know your kids, the more you care, the more you want them to succeed. But you also realize how responsible you are for your children's mistakes and how much you want them to care about their future. 
• Making friends. Breaking beyond the barrier of hospitality and cordiality into true, meaningful friendships with my Turkish friends is difficult. In every culture, I suppose, it is difficult to honestly integrate into the community and become a friend instead of 'the foreigner.'

In every culture, there are highs and lows. I absolutely love Turkish culture, and have a deep appreciation for the people who've come into my life this year. There are weeks where I cannot help but smile at the luck I have been blessed enough to receive. There are others where everything gets under your skin. You mutter sentences like.. "at home, I could do this so easily..." or "ughh...only in Turkey." Everything is more difficult and the world seems to be laughing at your endless series of mistakes. Thus is the life of a Fulbrighter, of a traveler, or an expat. But at the end of the day, I believe that I am here for a reason. Do I know what that is? No idea whatsoever. However, I know that meaningful cultural exchange is what I am here for. To give and receive. It is the most honest, real thing I can offer. It is the only way I think people change their perspectives. One smile at a time.