Life and Death

Last night was Karaoke- oh boy. Never have I ever sung Karaoke! Until last night. I sang Bitch my Meredith Brooks- not even on purpose. I was considering it, going out of my box in an attempt to check something off of “the never have I ever” done list. The DJ thrust the microphone in my face and said sing when the song came on. It was a wireless microphone so she brought it to our table and we really had no choice. I had so much fun- got a little crazy and even sang another song, though I don’t remember which one. Ended up having an amazing time, bonding with some people I didn’t talk to before.
The next morning was Friday- I had to work. Right now, because my foot is hurt I am in charge of cleaning our area- the kitchen, bathrooms, etc. It took me forever to actually do it, slow from the night before. We laid around all day, ate lunch and then I went to this amazingly gorgeous field in the middle of the Kibbutz. I decided to take some me time and read, relax and nap. I am reading the book the Faith Club and I can’t even explain the extent to which that book has challenged me and forced me to examine my views of faith and religion; their importance and whether or not they are mutually exclusive. I had this amazingly deep conversation in my head. I was contemplating death, and reading about the Jewish perspective of it. My thought process was basically this: I do not think I believe in a heaven or in a hell per se. I read this thing about a Rabbi asking what happens when people die, where the matter goes and what happens to the soul. This spurred a whole thought process- when we die, our bodies disintegrate. BUT- if abiding by the law of conservation of energy {matter is neither created nor destroyed- but only transferred} then we do not cease to exist. The energy, the pulsating force and atoms of what was once our bodies lives on. Our energy is merely passed on to create magnificence in this world in another form. Whether it be through a rain drop, slowly falling to the ground or in a strong breeze rushing across the plains. Peoples’ energy forces are transferred into the bits of nature that emanate their same intensity and spirit. Quiet people are reflected in the calming properties of nature and the fierce, intense people of the world, their energy so great, must be transferred to things like waterfalls and thunderstorms.
I fell asleep after having this strange revelation and dreamt about the energies of the world and how they are intertwined. This dream was all in colors and energies- impossible to explain. I woke up, went back to the room, did some homework and had a conversation with this guy who is from Hungary. I asked him about his heritage, his background, and if he was Jewish. His family is Jewish, at least in the historical sense of the word. His family doesn’t associate with the Jews, or the fact that their family has always been Jewish. After the Holocaust he explained, their family changed their name and have not associated with it since! I found that so interesting.
I went back to the room, contemplative of the extent of the atrocities committed in the Holocaust , did some homework and then got ready to go celebrate Shabbat at my friend Reut’s home in Ramle.